I like yer beard

Good evening bloggers. As I'm sure you all know, today is Woman's day, or El Dia Internacional de la Mujer," or "Feminism Day" as my friend referred to it. I didn't create this blog in honor of the day, but I hope that in the end it will have fulfilled some sort of womanly purpose.

I can't claim to know what it's like to be a woman. Simply because, I am not, nor could I ever begin to understand, every woman. The fact that I am a woman doesn't completely define me as an individual, but in many ways it defines what directions my life will take; where I will go, what I will say, who I will hang out with, and how my relationships will go. Yet, no matter what I do, or try to do, I will never ever be able to ignore the fact that I am a woman. So what does being a woman mean? Well all I can tell you is what it means to me. And today that is: that I really like beards.

Now, if there's one thing I know, it's that everything is biological. Maybe not everything, but everything that I can understand, and that's all that matters to me right now. As a person, I don't like to assume things that I can't know for sure or study and form my own opinion.

As a woman, I realize my biological failings. I know that if I love a good beard, it is only because of the following: I was born a blonde so blonde that it was almost albino-ish. My uterus wants a strong baby to be implanted into it, and strong babies are made by breeding with people that have things that you don't. Namely, dark hair, dark eyes, bigger nose, etc. If you see someone that you desire, it's because you have an egg in those ovaries of yours just waiting to create a hot baby. Or at least, one that's slightly more attractive than you. Basically being a woman to me right now means that I'm realizing how picky I'm being (unconsciously) in my quest to impregnate myself with the perfect sperm, and thus giving myself very little choice in men. So, men with beards, take note. Or ya know, even men capable of growing beards. And yes, I can tell.

Goddamn are beards sexy. I mean, have you ever really looked at one? Look at one. What does it say to you? To me it says: "I want to tickle the inside of your thighs." I mean seriously, I wants on that pile of hair on your chin, and I wants on it NOW. Do you see what this does to me? I mean as a woman, it's making me feel kind of weak right? Like, I see a boy with big brown eyes, and nice lips, framed by the most perfect beard of all time and a little part of my womanhood is automatically given away to him. But, I suspect we're not the only ones...

Also, this boy really exists. But more on that later.

Cheers to you and to great beards everywhere.